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Friday, June 25, 2010


I see your eyes sparkle and gleam. It makes everything seem so worth it.
Love lingers in the air, the sweet aftertaste lingering in my mouth.  :x
The odd scent still remains in my mind, the aftermath of the day.


Love, feels like that? I think so.
The sweet sense of belonging when I'm with her, the dissipation of the loneliness. I wonder if you feel it too. I've totally lost that sense of being lonely. I'm no longer scared, for I have you~
Seeing you so happy just makes my day. The rest, is just a bonus. And hell yeah, there were a lot of bonuses. :)
Isn't it so coincidental that the ones we end up falling in love with are the ones that were beside us all along? I noticed long ago. But perhaps I was afraid, of being unwanted. Of being seen as extra. I didn't dare give my oversized noggin any leeway for it to attack once again. I didn't think I'd survive. I guess, that it was best that you told me instead. Otherwise I would have held back, unsure of whether you would accept me or not.
The South Korea Fieldtrip '10 was great, filled with beautiful memories that I've kept close to my heart. Don't know why I'm reminiscising, but yeah. I guess... It has been fun in secondary school. Time for the final lap. I'll run it with ya. Being with you every step of it. Will you?

I'm gonna try my best. Otherwise I will regret it. I don't think I can hold my head up high if I don't. So watch up, you nasty O' level germ. I'm gonna eradicate you from my system for good. Don't wanna ever see you again after this, except as proof of my triumph.

I think I know your answer... But I wanna hear it again. :3
Will you be mine...? Darling...~ I love you~



Pikachu !
2:15 AM




Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Lol... It hurts... x.x.
I should never have asked you to face it. Because it's brought back all the pain, and I can do nothing.
Not me, I don't care whether I hurt or not. But you do. That hurts me more than any other thing does.
I don't know what to do. I ask, and ask... But receive no answer. I guess... It's time I stopped believing that someone'd help. Because... Up to now, I can't even help myself. What makes me worthy of anyone's help anyway?
You always say that it's because I care. But then, doesn't that mean I'm nothing if I don't? I don't know what to do. But I want to do something. 
Meh. If I took my studies this way, I'd probably ace all of it. But, screw it, I'm just being bhb. Because after all... I have not achieved uh. I guess... It's time to wait for my MYE results.
Screw it. I'm getting hurt myself over someone else. Stupid much?






















But... That someone else is far more important than I ever will be to myself. So I'll continue. 
Won't give up. Neither should you. :)
Just like the colour, blue represents... I believe that you will find peace someday. :3
With or without me.

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Pikachu !
9:40 PM




Saturday, April 24, 2010


Boys have totally no idea what girls are hinting about. It doesn't help that the boy in question is apparently gai. He still had no idea.

I guess the rule above is true. :X

But then again, maybe it is quite fun having no idea. Because if we humans were so easily interpreted, where'd all the excitement in life be? ^^

Hehe, every pulse in my heart just signals out to me. It tells me I'm happy. :3



Pikachu !
5:20 PM




Wednesday, April 21, 2010


It just came to him. Hurt like a charm. He couldn't feel anything. He felt cold-blooded and lonely. Lonely like always...


I don't know, really...


Aiyo... You still care about him... I guess... It's natural to be jealous... I guess... But my guesses have been proven wrong before... I guess... What's holding me back...?


I'm scared. I don't like it. Maybe mei's right. Maybe I AM just a kid after all. I'm slightly upset. I feel like I'm doing the both of them wrong. My gut sense is overruling my head. That isn't fair! I don't know... I wonder... What do I really know anyway...? 
Silly sad song playing on my music player. With the exception of The Saltwater Room, I really am starting to hate Owl City now.  ><...


I confess, I really really do want to be the most important person in your life. But I know that isn't possible. But I'm just sticking to that glimmer of hope... May I...?

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Pikachu !
10:16 PM




Monday, April 19, 2010


I honestly don't know how many more times it can get broken. It's already mangled and ruined beyond recognition. I don't know how much more it can take. I don't exactly think that this is the real meaning of pushing myself to the limits... Is it...? Because if it is... It really is killing me inside... To quote the lyrics of a song...

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so easily?
You make it hard to smile because
You make it hard to breathe
Why do you do this to me?

...... :(

But I will keep at it. Because... Well, the reason is clear to me. Is it to you...? I will go on, until I can go no further. Because by then, falling won't be a problem any more.

Sarang Heyo.

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Pikachu !
7:17 PM




Wednesday, April 14, 2010


Excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS) is characterized by persistent sleepiness, and often a general lack of energy, even after apparently adequate night time sleep. Sudden involuntary sleep onset, and microsleeps are common complications. EDS is a symptom of one of the two forms of the sleep disorder hypersomnia, the other being prolonged nighttime sleep.
Some persons with EDS, including those with narcolepsy, are compelled to nap repeatedly during the day; fighting off increasingly strong urges to sleep during inappropriate times such as while driving, while at work, during a meal, or in conversations. As the compulsion to sleep intensifies, the ability to competently complete tasks sharply diminishes, often mimicking the appearance of intoxication.

EDS is often the manifestation of a disorder, and not a sign of a willful lack of effort. Without firm and knowledgeable counseling on the part of the physician, family members can easily fail to accept EDS as part of an illness.
EDS can affect the ability to function in family, social, occupational, or other settings. A proper diagnosis, and treatment, of the underlying cause can help mitigate such complications. It can be difficult to accept that EDS is beyond a person's control; the unaffected may see sleepiness as an insult, a rejection, or as evidence for lack of interest. During occasional unique and/or stimulating circumstances, a person with EDS can sometimes remain animated, awake and alert, for brief or extended periods of time; this lends credence to an observer's assertions that the alertness is simply a matter of self control and that EDS can be 'willed away'.

Narcolepsy

Four of the other classic symptoms of the disorder, often referred to as the "tetrad of narcolepsy," are cataplexy, sleep paralysis, hypnagogic hallucinations, and automatic behavior.[2]. These symptoms may not occur in all patients. Cataplexy is an episodic condition featuring loss of muscle function, ranging from slight weakness (such as limpness at the neck or knees, sagging facial muscles, or inability to speak clearly) to complete body collapse. Episodes may be triggered by sudden emotional reactions such as laughter, anger, surprise, or fear, and may last from a few seconds to several minutes. The person remains conscious throughout the episode. In some cases, cataplexy may resemble epileptic seizures.[3] Sleep paralysis is the temporary inability to talk or move when waking (or less often, when falling asleep). It may last a few seconds to minutes. This is often frightening but is not dangerous. Hypnagogic hallucinations are vivid, often frightening, dreamlike experiences that occur while dozing, falling asleep and/or while awakening.
In most cases, the first symptom of narcolepsy to appear is excessive and overwhelming daytime sleepiness. The other symptoms may begin alone or in combination months or years after the onset of the daytime naps. There are wide variations in the development, severity, and order of appearance of cataplexy, sleep paralysis, and hypnagogic hallucinations in individuals. Only about 20 to 25 percent of people with narcolepsy experience all four symptoms. The excessive daytime sleepiness generally persists throughout life, but sleep paralysis and hypnagogic hallucinations may not.

Lol. This is great. Just great. I have a serious sleeping disorder that is going to follow me throughout my short life. Thanks a lot.
I experience EDS, and hypnagogic hallucinations. Hurray...

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Pikachu !
9:05 PM




Saturday, March 20, 2010


For the first time ever, he cried over something that had not happened. It felt so real, that he was going to lose one of the most important people in his life. It couldn't happen. But he had no power to stop it. As usual, he was powerless. The thing that really got to him was, that the ones with so called power, did nothing to prevent it. Every try just ended up worse. It was nothing. HE was nothing...


All the so called happiness, was just an illusion. An illusion that was ripped asunder and left to rot. The truth was that there was only chaos, only darkness. Light was not the fastest, darkness was. For when light arrived at any place, it would find the dark already there, lurking in the shadows. There is no fight, really. Darkness will definitely win. Because the light does not last forever. And whenever the light is extinguished, darkness fills the space, voiding out anything else. Hope, is the only light left.



Pikachu !
7:54 PM