Friday, October 16, 2009

You know... I think she doesn't like having me around. I may be paranoid. But the way she keeps super quiet when I go over, and the difference once anyone else goes over. I ounno, but it seems like we're drifting apart. Did I do something wrong? Probably. It's usually my fault ppl get sad. I try to make up for it, I think. But... It never works once something's broken. I think mine's broken. I think I should probably stop doing stuff ever. Apparently everything's wrong.

Yeah, I feel so alone. Not exactly the liberal meaning. But inside, I feel somewhat lonely. Now with everyone caught up in their own problems, I feel as though I'm being thrown aside. No1 really wants me around huh? Seems that way. Shang Yan said that earlier. I looked indignant. But inside, I felt sad. Haha. I can just shrug it off. But...

Whenever ppl in class start grouping up, I steer away. I don't seem to understand anything they talk about anyway. They don't want me around. Probably not. I shd just stick to my own clique huh? Oh wait. I don't have one. I don't want one either. I finally found out, why Stella hates this class. May not be much, but the little bits of suspicion here and there, the I don't like this guy and vice versa, really split this class up. I wonder if anyone doesn't like me now. Probably quite a few.

Haha...

Labels: Haha.

Pikachu !

10:26 PM

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Hais... I hate myself. I'm driving everyone away. I was late for school today. Stomachacheeeeeee!

Then was nearly late for the SS paper. Hais. I'm sure the adrenaline from rushing to school wore off right in the middle of the SS paper, leaving me exhausted beyond measure. I really felt like sleeping. Held on though. Till the maths paper. Couldn't sleep le... Total torture. I'm gonna flunk EOY again. Hurray. Just like 2008...

I told myself it would not happen again. I guess myself is not someone I shd tell. =.=.
I can't even control my emotions now. I think I'm sinking at one given period, then flying the next. Owl city. Ah. Honestly... What is wrong with me? I can't meet my own expectations, not to mention the ones others place on me. It's totally unfair.

Everyone says I can make it. My dad, yang meh meh, jay lun, shili, shermie, zc, khai liang say I sure can one. Hadi says I sure pass. I ain't so optimistic. I have this feeling I'm gonna fail all the subjects that's been tested so far... English and chinese I go do the hardest topics for compo. Compre also sure die one. I've never passed chinese before. Doubt I will now.

Owl city. I ignored shermie today. Betcha she's probably worried. Hais. Fail. Fail. Super fail. Epic fail.
I ignored most of the ppl this morning during recess. Until ZC helped me with maths. > . <. I feel so guilty.

Labels: I'm a freaking asshole.

Pikachu !

6:16 PM

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Omg... I never really realised it... But the way I'm feeling is nearly 100% dependent on the music I'm listening to atm. Owl City. When I hear their music, my mood immediately lightens. P!ATD too. Makes me feel super quirky.

Thus... When twish twish posted that link to broken, broken and sorrow... My mood immediately fell. o.O. Lol. Not blaming her or anything. But I finally understand why I'm so moody sometimes, and yet cheer up so fast. It also depends on the song in my head. :).

Here are the lyrics to New Perspective. My favourite song from P!ATD. :D

I feel the salty waves come in
I feel them crash against my skin
And I smile as I respire because I know they'll never win

There's a haze above my TV
That changes everything I see
And maybe if I continue watching
I'll lose the traits that worry me

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time
We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine
And I would wait and watch the hours fall in a hundred separate lines
But I regain repose and wonder how I ended up inside

Can we fast-forward to go down on me?
Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
And I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

More to the point, I need to show
How much I can come and go
Other plans fell through
And put a heavy load on you
I know there's no more that need be said
When I'm inching through your bed
Take a look around instead and watch me go

Stop there and let me correct it
I wanna live a life from a new perspective
You come along because I love your face
and I'll admire your expensive taste
And who cares divine intervention
I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here

It's not fair, just let me perfect it
Don't wanna live a life that was comprehensive
'cause seeing clear would be a bad idea
Now catch me up on getting out of here
So catch me up I'm getting out of here

:)

Pikachu !

4:37 PM