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Thursday, February 11, 2010


As he packed his bag, he wistfully thought of her. He shook his head. He would be missing her the entire trip. He already was. She left before he could say goodbye... He regretted not having told her earlier. Life was full of regrets. He looked at his near-empty bag, and turned away. Life sucked. Nobody respected him... It was all he could do to stem his dejection and not explode in an out-pour of emotions. Not that it would have helped anyway... There was nobody he could talk to. Not with a phone with a blank screen. And thus... He just kept waiting...

No1 respects me... They've already stereotyped me... I don't get it... Am I really a good-for-nothing that just sleeps and lazes my days away...? I ain't that kind of person... I just haven't found something I feel like doing... I'm studying... I'm not just slacking... I... Suck.
I failed 3 subjects out of 6. For the first time... I failed English and it wasn't a major exam. I'm improving all right... I feel like an idiot... I am one... :(
I don't like the way this is going... I'm headed for a breakdown. *pushes thought out of mind*. I can't do that... D:
I have the support of my friends! D: ...
Ok I don't really... Haiz. It all boils down to the same damned thing... The same damned thing I've been trying to deny for the past few years...






I'm all alone...

Well... Bye. Off to Thailand. I hope I make it back. In one piece.  



Pikachu !
2:16 AM




Wednesday, February 10, 2010


He didn't know what to do. At the moment, everything seemed alright. However, there was still flickers of doubt in his mind. He was mentally weak, that was pretty obvious. What wasn't, however, was the fact that he was also redundant. He found out that he knew many things. Only thing was... No1 needed to know that. Whatever they needed to know, however, he didn't know...

Hm... I prolly AM an idiot... Oh well. Brooding over it won't help. I'm silly, childish and fond of her. No wonder she doesn't reciprocate in the least. Well... I've known that I'm an idiot for years. I was never smart to begin with. Silly too. I've lost an emotion. I don't know what it was... But the word is no longer included in my dictionary as well. Jeez. Life... Is hard. Mine... Is redundant. :)

My favourite chinese song!
到了明天 - Super Junior M.

到了明天 說好不再見面
坐在街尾的店 我一個人點了一杯想念
到了明天 只能讓愛擦肩
兩個人的笑臉 天亮前變成泛黃的照片

身邊 寂寞在蔓延
視線 被淚水模糊焦點
把我 愛妳 留在了心底 放在了唇邊

到了明天 妳就離開我身邊
到了明天 獨自向流星許願
像一場電影到完結篇 (我們的結局應驗誰的預言)
碎了一地的諾言 拼湊不回的昨天
可我仍期待 奇蹟會出現 Oh~ No~
而妳身影越來越遠

愛 還留在我房間
回憶還很新鮮
一瞬間 感覺妳就在眼前

我身邊 寂寞在蔓延
這視線 被淚水模糊焦點
一句 我愛妳 深深留在了心底放在了唇邊

到了明天 妳就離開我身邊
到了明天 獨自向流星許願
像一場電影到完結篇 (我們的結局應驗誰的預言)
碎了一地的諾言 拼湊不回的昨天
可我依舊期待 奇蹟會出現 Oh~ No~
而妳離去身影卻越來越遠

沒有妳愛開始冬眠
孤單會佔據每一天
我站在路燈下面
冷清的街邊
那個曾相擁的地點
是我們一起躲過雨的屋簷

到了明天 妳就離開我身邊
到了明天 獨自向流星許願
像一場電影到完結篇 (我們的結局應驗誰的預言)
碎了一地的諾言 拼湊不回的昨天
可我仍期待 奇蹟會再出現 Oh~ No~

我依然還懷念相愛的從前
我依然還等妳回到我身邊
淚流在我冰冷的枕邊
按下暫停的時間
直到妳再次出現
無法承受沒有妳的每一天 Oh~ No~
我愛妳不會改變 我愛著妳到永遠

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Pikachu !
12:16 AM




Sunday, February 7, 2010


It was like a dream again, except this dream was a nightmare. The skies crashed against each other, each clash akin to crackling thunder. And the skies burned red. Fields once lush green were reduced to dry, brown earth. Seas once as clear as glass were black with ichor-like substance. He fell, and on the dusty ground, he choked and coughed. A fiery figure stood above him, mocking him, taunting him. Till his last breath, he never gave up. But finally, as all things do, he succumbed to the darkness, and fell into the void.


Hais. I really want to give up. I just might.. I can't help it. It's just too much to bear. I sometimes just want a comforting shoulder to lean on, someone who'll listen to me and comfort me the way I comfort others, but it's impossible. It hurts so much... Oh well, at least I still have Eddie. He'll always be with me. For now... :)



Pikachu !
12:59 AM




Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Walking along and brooding, he noticed that no1 actually seemed to bother. It was as if he was just a ghost, walking amongst them, never to be noticed. He looked around him, and inwardly sighed. It was just his imagination. But throughout the day, he never got a single question. Perhaps they were used to him being like that already. It seemed that way to him. He actually already knew that no1 really wanted to talk to him when he was unhappy, but it was what he was screaming at them silently to happen. It never did. It was his fault, really. For pushing everyone away. He just wished they would make their stand clear. He hated open endings...

Ellos. From being moody in the morning, I grew happier in the afternoon after learning that I was accepted to Korea~ and then back to the dumps in the night. Seems as though I was excited over a fact no1 else seemed to be. Yeah. So... Sorry. It's my fault again. It's ok. I'll survive, like I always do. It won't kill me. I'm just very very tired... Hahaha. Oh well. On to another day. I passed E maths! I'm like, exhilarated! Well, I was. For a while. My dad just said... A jump from F9 to B3 is not enough. Gosh. I'm never going to be enough, no matter how much I try. But I will. Because it's the only thing I can do. Honestly, I don't believe I can ever live up to expectations. With all these chains placed around me. I feel suffocated, and they think it's good for me. Wow. The human mind is hard to fathom. I honestly, just wanna fall one day, never to get up again.

Westlife - Uptown Girl. :3

Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a back street guy
I bet her mama never told her why

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice

Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win

And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine

She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

Uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl

My uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl
My uptown girl



Pikachu !
12:08 AM